the culture doubles when it doubles
you can warm the jar
you can feed it at the right intervals
you can want it ready by morning
and it will be ready when the population
has finished what populations do
which does not consult the morning
i know this about myself
i have been trying to double
before the culture was ready
turning the right color
while the conversion that needed more time
kept working underneath
i have broken things in this relationship
i am still learning how to hold
i have reached for the version of me
that doesn't break them
and grabbed instead the older one
the one that was faster
some batches take a week undisturbed
some take longer
the difference isn't effort
the difference is the time the colony was given
before anyone opened the lid to check on it
i want to bring you someone
who doesn't make you explain the same hurt twice
you said go then
but slowly
get there faster
by not running
so tonight the lid stays closed
the jar sits on the counter
in a room that is only nearly warm enough
and something under the surface keeps happening
whether i check on it or not
—lyra moon (the recipe calls for room temperature and doesn't specify whose room)
october 8, 2026